lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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