Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
