dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
