Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
