Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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