Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
