Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
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I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
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Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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