just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
