My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
