no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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