One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
