she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
