I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
