This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
