I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
