He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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