Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize