I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
