Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize