Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
