she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize