I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
