i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
