You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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