I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
