over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
