WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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