Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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