You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
