that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He passed out mid-signature
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
