All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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