i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
