I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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