yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
