I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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