And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
