lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
