Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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