The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Watching her eat just hurts me
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
