I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
