THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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