This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
