That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
