I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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