yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
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My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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