I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
