i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he fucked my hip out of place.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
