I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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