you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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