70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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