So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
