Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
