If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
