I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
