First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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