I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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