And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
