Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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