mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
