That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
