Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm always down for nudity.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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