hotel room ftw
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
