We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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