fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
