Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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